The Efts on WoW Insider!

Some Hordiculturalists preparing for a goblin assault on Ragefire Chasm

We're thrilled to report that The Efts have been immortalized on WoW Insider! We had a blast working with the article's author, Anne Stickney. Her story does a great job of encapsulating our methods and history. Thanks Anne for allowing us to grace the pages of WoW Insider, a site that we've checked daily for at least five years.

Link to the article --> http://wow.joystiq.com/2010/12/16/world-of-warcrafts-making-music-for-guildies-and-friends/

Hordiculturalists Theme

Several Hordiculturalists sporting casual attire

Listen to and/or download this song --> The Efts - Hordiculturalists Theme

YouTube version --> Hordiculturalists Theme - The Efts

This was an overdue song. Lolo and I have been playing World of Warcraft with the same bunch of folks for over five years. We've been through a lot and have much more to go now that Cataclysm is on the immediate horizon. This song is dedicated to our guild on the Ravenholdt server. For the Horde!

Lyrics:

You pick a fight with one of us
you'll have to fight with all of us
You can knock us down
We will not stay down

We have DPS that will recount best
Our tanks' aggro never will let go
Kill a boss then rest, pop a lock on a chest
Our healers are pro, mana never runs low

We are the Hordiculturalists.
We are the Horde.

You'll find us all on Ravenholdt
Where we're busy farming gold
Having fun is always key
come and share our brevity

We have DPS that will recount best
Our tanks' aggro never will let go
Kill a boss then rest, pop a lock on a chest
Our healers are pro, mana never runs low

We are the Hordiculturalists.
We're never bored.
We are the Hordiculturalists
in Howling Fjord.
We are the Hordiculturalists.
Socketed sword.
We are the Hordiculturalists.
Honor points scored.
We are the Hordiculturalists.
Welcome aboard.
We are the Hordiculturalists.
We are the Horde.

Chemical Love

Listen to and/or download this song ---> The Efts - Chemical Love

YouTube version ---> Chemical Love - The Efts

It's been a long time, but I'm excited to be back with a new song. This is Lolo's 2010 birthday song-present. While writing the lyrics, I had to do a bit of research about the chemicals inherent in being in love. By listening to this song you can learn! I call it slearnging. Enjoy!

Lyrics:

When we're together I release chemicals
Dopamine, norepinephrine and more.
My lower levels of serotonin will help
me focus on you whom I do adore.
And my endorphines race past my frontal cortex
along with oxytocin and vasopressin.
Meanwhile your brain is busy releasing the same
glorious cocktail of absolute love.
My chemicals, they love your chemicals.
Your chemicals they love my chemicals.
Our chemicals make other chemicals
that make our chemicals love our love.

Lyon Among Wolves

John Lyon fears no werewolves

Listen to/download the song ---> The Efts - Lyon Among Wolves

YouTube version ---> Lyon Among Wolves - The Efts

John "Baby Toes" Lyon is a great friend of mine. We've spent many many hours together playing video games (mostly WoW) and laughing at everything around us. During the heyday of my ownership of Wild Wonderful Video Games, we were part of a large crew of folks that played WoW together. John's playing style was unique, mostly due to his craptastic laptop. He had no spacebar, no enter key, and several other keys were also missing. His system was constantly overheating due to being woefully undergeared for WoW so he played with a huge box fan next to him. At best, his screen showed four frames per second. Even with all of these handicaps, he completely dominated the rest of us. We all assumed he had some kind of extra-sensory perception or something. Needless to say, his WoW prowess demanded a song so here it is.

Lyrics:

Never needed a spacebar
Never needed an enter key
Only four frames per second
Borrows from his ESP.
You can try to escape him.
You can try to get away.
You can hide in a corner.
He will be there waiting for you.

Like a lion among the wolves
He will prey upon the predators.

Cools his system with box fans
Knows the ends will justify the means
He will dominate your LAN.
Is he man or is he part machine?

Like a lion among the wolves

He will prey upon the predators

Like a lion among the wolves

He will stand while we all fall

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Ring of Fire

Camping in Dolly Sods 1994

Listen to the song ---> The Efts - Ring of Fire

YouTube version ---> Ring of Fire - The Efts

I've never tried karaoke. Lolo and I have discussed our options and I decided I'd probably go with the Social Distortion version of Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire for my first karaoke attempt. Subsequent discussions with Dylan and Deanie brought to my attention that maybe doing a cover song would be fun. So here's my attempt at covering the only song to which I can comfortably remember the lyrics (which is the primary reason for this being my main karaoke choice).

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You Say (Snowball re-edit)

The amazing Snowball microphone from Blue looks as good as it sounds.

Listen to the song ----> The Efts - You Say (Snowball Re-edit)

Youtube version ----> You Say (snowball re-edit) - The Efts

This is just a quick re-recording of the vocals on You Say. I used the Snowball microphone to replace the original vocals which were done with the on-board mic on the Powerbook. I employed a 3x mono-vocal overlay to add some depth to the recording. Our next project is to re-record the vocal track on I Saw Her Standing on the Curb. Lolo plans to work on a duet of said song with me! We'll post it as soon as we get done.

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Moving Away

Dylan and Deanie's new home March 2010

Listen to and download this song ---> Moving Away-The Efts

YouTube version ---> Moving Away - The Efts

Newest song! Recently our co-couple Dylan and Deanie bought a house. They packed up and moved away from Brooklyn in the middle of a blizzard. We spent the weekend at their new place a couple weeks ago and had a wonderful time. Since returning from our visit, I've been thinking about this idea for a song to give to our friends as a house-warming present. This project is based on another one of our old Braceface tunes called Preston County. It was Dylan's favorite of our songs, so I've appropriately updated the lyrics to reflect the current chapter in the lives of Dylan, Deanie, Wiles and Ashland.

Also Dylan and Deanie don't have a dog yet but they really should adopt one, don't you think?

Lyrics: No more moving so fast, no more fighting through crowds. No more climbing down stairs when you want to get out. No more smoky exhaust, no more mind-numbing noise. Now you're spreading your wings 'cause you've made a big choice. And you're leaving the big city and you're never looking back. You've bought a lovely home that has some trees and grass out back. You'll never have to think about anxiety attacks. This chapter of your life is found just off the beaten track. No more neighbors upstairs, no more paying to park. No more shying away from a stranger's remark. Now you play with your boys on the hill in your yard and you go to a shelter and adopt St. Bernards.

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Jackson and Sam

Jackson and Sam and Greta 2010

Listen to and/or download the song ---> Jackson and Sam - The Efts
YouTube version ---> Jackson and Sam - The Efts

This tune is dedicated to the sons of our friends Kristian and Sara. I had a lot of fun with this one. Prior to this project I never really explored the various atmospheric textures and sounds in the FX directory within Garageband. I overlayed several of them to try to create the sound of a spaceship taking off and doing battle with space pirates. I'm hoping Jackson and Sam have fun with this theme song to their fake TV show called Space Police.

Also, having lyrics like "Space kittens in trees" is a good indication that this song is probably pretty cool.

Lyrics: We are cruising through space at the speed of light. I am at the controls and my target's in sight. Now our job is complete. We fly to the east. We are Jackson and Sam and we're the space police. Space pirates are bad. Stealing from the poor. We will hunt them all down until there are no more. Space coffees and teas. Space kittens in trees. We are Jackson and Sam and we're the space police.

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I Saw Her Standing By the Curb

First ever picture taken of us. Ohiopyle, PA 1989

Listen to the song ---> The Efts - I Saw Her Standing By the Curb

Except for one song recorded before getting a Mac, all of my songs on this blog were created using GarageBand on a Powerbook G4. I've spent a lot of time tweaking settings, downloading loops, experimenting with sounds, etc. While I certainly have a long way to go before I really feel comfortable with my songs, I feel like I have a much better handle on the usage of GarageBand now. This song was one of my very first attempts at using the software. The vocals are not good. I like the words, but the quality of the recording is bad. Nevertheless, I've uploaded this song for the sake of posterity. I built the main synthesizer loop in this song using the Bubblegum effect (I love that buzz sound) coupled with an octave effect for the bass.

This song was mostly written a few years prior to getting the Mac. I wrote it with an actual guitar in mind but it was easy to make the transition to GarageBand for recording purposes.

Lyrics: I saw her standing by the curb. She was new. She was cute. Weeks went by. We were both so shy. I knew it would behoove me to take her to a movie. We dated all through high school and we always had good times. After graduation we both knew it was time. So we had a little wedding with some friends and family. And we moved to an apartment and we got real jobs. Every day was even better than the last one. And I loved her even more and even more. And now it's been 10 years and we just got started. And we have a little house and it's in the woods. And we have a couple dogs and they're really nice. She's still my bestest friend and I am her's too. We take walks around the forest. We hold hands together. And we do stuff on the chore list unless it's rainy weather. And we like to watch our shows Simpsons and Survivor. And we like to play our games. Ravenholdt's our server.

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I Remember Intellivision

Braceface in Morgantown, WV 1998

Listen to and/or download the song ---> Braceface - I Remember Intellivision
YouTube version ---> I Remember Intellivision - Braceface

In the mid 1990s I belonged to one of the greatest bands of all time: Braceface. Please keep in mind the name of the band pre-dated the horrible cartoon of the same name. At one time the band included Dylan (drums), Lolo (bass), Tabblet (bass), Thompson (guitar) and me (guitar/vocals). Later it boiled down to just Dylan, Lolo and me. While we had no microphone, I clearly recall screaming the vocals to this song over trashy guitars in Dylan's basement.

A few years after the band broke up I found myself sitting with Lolo in front of a PC while fooling around with Cakewalk's Guitar Pro software. An hour later, we had this song recorded. Lolo played the bass in this one while I sang and played guitars over the software's drum machine. This song is rather unique as it's the only one posted here that was created using mostly live instruments (all except the delightfully lo-fi drum machine). Braceface lives!

Quick notes about the production of this badly recorded song: we rigged our amps with a small digital PC microphone placed strategically in front of the speaker. Lolo played a proper bass line, but my guitar only had (has!) two strings so it's a good thing I added a compressor peddle to fill out the sound.

Lyrics: I remember Intellivision. I remember the A-Team. I remember Daisy Duke and ice cream. I remember being sick when I tried eating those doggie treats. I remember swinging flags and banana seats. When you think back to all those years ago it makes you wonder why all we think about is where we're going when we should be thinking about where we've been. Didn't know about STDs and didn't know about rock and roll. Knew a lot about water fights and digging holes. I remember the Weeble Wobbles and didn't know about fads or trends. Pacman, Metroid and Mario were my best friends.

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Not a Handsome Man

Two of our many alts - Challah and Pumpernickel

Listen to the song ---> The Efts - Not a Handsome Man
YouTube version ---> Not a Handsome Man - The Efts

This is one of the latest songs we wrote and it's real exciting for a couple of reasons. First of all, Lolo sings on this tune! I wrote my part and gave it to her for Valentine's Day 2010. Within a week she had her part worked out. After 2 hours of tinkering, she presented this version of the song to me. I was overwhelmed. I'm really hoping this prompts more duets in the future. The way Lolo overlayed her voice worked out great. She's a natural! This song is also exciting because it commemorates our 20th Valentines Day together. 20 years!!! We're awesome.

Lyrics: I am not a handsome man. No no no. (Yes you are to me) Cracks and flaws on the gemstone of my soul. (Makes you mine for all time) Your beauty makes up for the ugliness of myself. (But your heart is full of kindness) Your cool water tempers my steel. (And your flame keeps me sane) Your ways will save my days from my nights. (Your ways will save my nights from my days) You are the cat and I'm the tree. Your feral claws are the answer to my spells. My bells will ring and sing. (I am the bear you are the priest. Your healing spells are the answer to my growls Your bells will sing and ring).

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You Say

Looking skyward on Bruce's front 300, spring 2009

Listen to and/or download the song ---> The Efts - You Say
YouTube version ---> You Say - The Efts

This is a quirky little ditty I wrote and recorded in about an hour. We had been visiting some family and a comment was made that Lolo needed to hurry up and have kids. I got thinking about various expectations and *voila* this song was born. I remember having tears in my eyes when I sang the part about light coming out of her eyes. Happens sometimes.

Listen to the song ---> You Say (Snowball re-edit) - The Efts

I recently (April 20 2010) re-recorded the vocals using the Snowball microphone. I think it improves the quality of this song. The mushiness of the vocals in the previous version bothered me. The ability to use the on-board microphone is a nice option, but unfortunately it also records all other ambient sounds, white noise, etc. The Snowball microphone (I feel like an advertisement) is wonderful - directional, focused and crisp recordings. Thanks again for the microphone Dylan and Deanie!

Lyrics: You say you don't wanna be a rocker baby. You say you don't wanna be a star. You say you don't wanna cruise the blocker baby. You say you don't wanna big car. Everybody wants to see you with a baby baby. Everybody wants to see you go far. You tell 'em you are gonna get a rocket baby. You tell 'em you are gonna see the stars. Your ride is gonna be up on a rocket baby. Your ride is gonna take you up to the stars. Your light is gonna shine out of your eyes baby. Your light is gonna shine down on us all.

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Your Turn Now

Wiles arrives in a flurry of love and adoration

Listen to and/or download the song ---> The Efts - Your Turn Now
YouTube version ---> Your Turn Now - The Efts

So this is my main song. A few years back my life was rolling along with very few bumps in the road. All of a sudden all of our friends got pregnant. Kristian and Sara announced the news followed almost immediately by Dylan and Deanie. While I was overjoyed for my friends, I also knew this was the beginning of a huge shift in the finer workings of our friendships. This song represents the support I tried to convey during a momentous time in the lives of people I hold very dear.

Some notes about making this song: the piano part is a fast little loop that I slowed down to about 25% of it's original speed. Same with the violin parts. I used a few effects to add some warmth and I spread out the bass with a sub effect.

I plan to re-record the vocals on this one soon. Incidentally, the effect I overlayed on the bass caused the speakers in my truck to fuzz out pretty much permanently. Listen at your own risk.

Lyrics: Close your eyes for a second and you're back outside. You didn't know about pride. And your dad is there at the end of the slide. Your eyes are open and you're still inside. Checking in 'cause he cried. And you'll do it again because it's your turn now. You watch him play and you catch his eye and you see your eyes looking up at you and you hold him tight. Hold him tight. Your turn now. Used to be that you thought for one. Now you think for three. You don't mind. That's how it should be. Thinking back to the hours spent watching him work. His smile became yours and you see it now when you look at your son. When you were little and you needed him, he was always there. But it's your turn now. Yes it's your turn now.

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Ashland and Wiles

Ashland and Wiles, Brooklyn 2009

Listen to and/or download the song ---> The Efts - Ashland and Wiles
YouTube version ---> Ashland and Wiles - The Efts

Ashland and Wiles are the delightful sons of our friends Dylan and Deanie. I started out writing a theme song for a fake TV show about the two boys becoming some kind of Brooklyn superheroes. Like all of my songs, the final product was not quite what I started out trying to create. I still like it, and it was really fun writing a theme song.

For every song I've actually finished, I have maybe 30 others that are partially done. For example, I've started writing songs for almost all the kids of our friends and yet this is one of the only tunes that made it through the grinder. This project was the last tune I created using the on-board microphone on the Powerbook. I learned to close myself in the guest bedroom in our house to reduce background noise. This song is unique as it's the only one I've made that includes 5-part vocal harmony.

Lyrics: Two kids, never knew no fear, brothers who magically could appear anywhere a problem needed solved. They helped Larry find his cat. They fed Mary's snake a rat. They found Jerry's lost hounddog. Those kids foiled a robbery. Those kids solved a mystery. Those kids are heroes walking tall.

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Time-Lapse Photography Life

Red Spotted Newt - Monongahela Nat'l Forest 2008

Listen to the song ---> The Efts - Time-Lapse Photography Life
YouTube version ---> Time-Lapse Photography Life - The Efts

This was Lolo's Christmas 2008 present. I started out trying to write a song about how life was like a flip-book. After working on it for a couple of hours it ended up being this song. I've spent 20 years with Lolo and it has been very much of a time-lapse photography adventure. I wish I could remember every second of it, but I'm limited to bright shining moments of happiness that blend together in a sped-up version of my life's memories. It's hard to really say what I mean in a song and also rhyme.

Lyrics: They say time flies when you're having fun. I blinked and my days have come and gone. Twenty years of my life I been loving you. And it's clear twenty years you've been loving me too. Life moves fast, make it last. Life with a wonderful wife is a time-lapse photography life. See the clouds moving by far too fast for natural skies. Watch the flowers reach high, sprouting blooms before our eyes.

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You Are a Giant to Me

Lolo -VS- large mouth bass in Wisconsin 2007. Lolo won.

Listen to and/or download the song ---> The Efts - You Are a Giant to Me
YouTube version ---> You Are a Giant to Me - The Efts

This was Lolo's Valentine's Day 2009 present. For those of you who are unaware, Lolo is not physically tall. Her presence is giant to me. I guess that's what I'm trying to say in this song. She's certainly not a giant, but to me she dwarfs all others.

Lyrics: I'm fond of saying it's a speed limit, not a speed goal. I'm fond of feeling your touch when we share the same soul. You are a giant to me.

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Rises In Your Eyes

View from our front porch, Winter 2006

Listen to and/or download the song ---> The Efts - Rises in Your Eyes
YouTube version ---> Rises in Your Eyes - The Efts

I tend to write songs for Lolo for various reasons. This was her Christmas 2009 song. It's nice being married to such a wonderful inspiration for music. I came up with the idea for this song while driving to a conference in Flatwoods. I tried writing the lyrics on my PDA which was laying open in the passenger's seat. Later when I reviewed my notes, it appeared that I wrote the following lyrics:

The sur siisn WV bul it rissn vour eys.

Luckily I was able to translate. I recorded this song the next day.

Lyrics: It is time to start a routine again. And I know you have the same. But I always seem to be surprised just how beautiful your eyes are. We share this couch together riding across time. The sun sets in West Virginia, but it rises in your eyes. And we build these walls up really high. And we hold each other really tight. And we're never gonna go outside again.

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Everything Changes

Shannon & Loretta in 1990

Listen to and/or download the song ---> The Efts - Everything Changes
YouTube version ---> Everything Changes - The Efts

This is my first of hopefully several posts. I wrote this song for Lolo during a time of great financial stress for both of us. At the time I was the owner/operator of a small indie video game store. The store got robbed and we were already deep in debt from trying to start the business. Luckily Lolo was rock solid (as usual).

A year went by and I kind of forgot about this song. I listened to it a few times after I made it but it tended to make me a little sad. Then we met up with our friend Maggie in Morgantown. She heard this song on a mix CD that Dylan made. She said she liked it which kind of blew my mind. People listened to my music? Really? Maggie's influence prompted me to go on a song-writing frenzy over the next few weeks. Not sure if you'll ever read this Maggie, but thanks!!

Lyrics: Everything changes. Don't you change. Everything changes. Please don't change. You got a good bead on life. Won't last forever. All your sunny skies can change to stormy weather. If we have to change at all, let's go together. We won't sink down like a stone. We'll be a feather. Everything changes. Let's not change. Everything changes. We won't change. Rolling with these punches can hurt sometimes. Bad luck comes in bunches, but we'll be fine.

Listen to the song ---> The Efts - Everything Changes (Snowball Re-edit)

A couple years later my friends Dylan and Deanie bought me a Snowball microphone. This has been a real boon for me since the on-board microphone on my laptop was difficult to work around. I re-recorded the vocals in the above version. I really like the quality of the recording although I wasn't quite as melancholy when recording it the second time.

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