Hector

Hector is another song borne of the Musical Telephone project.  Originally written by Tanner Haid, Hector is the soulful tale of a school custodian's current station in life.  Tanner's influence on The Efts has been profound, and we were excited to have an opportunity to cover one of his works.  Again, we are overjoyed to be participating in Musical Telephone.  Our eternal thanks go out to all of the members of this talented group of songwriters.

Lyrics:

I used to clean the floors
For all the children they spilled all their milk
And then ran outdoors
Back to their houses full of love and warmth
And I'd close the lights
After I'd check to see that all the bins were clean
And i'd find a home
In a hole in the wall down on 16th

I'm down on 16th
Down on 16th
Going on 60
Down on 16th

And then after lunch
In a classroom full of exhaled breath
I'd scrape the gum
From the bottom on 1980's desks
And i'd wash the walls
So tomorrow they could come in clean
And i'd brush my teeth
In a hole in the wall down on 16th

I'm down on 16th
Down on 16th
Going on 60
Down on 16th

If only they could see
If only they could see me
I'm down
On the ground

We Chose This Life

This tune is for Lolo for her 2015 birthday gift song.  After 25 years of co-existence, a song with a more serious tone was in order.  We carefully chose our life.  We cultivated it through our choices, our methods, our love and our desire for one another.  We focus on living simplistically, with few complications and more freedoms.  As we begin the next 25 years together our love continues to grow.  It's our life and we chose it.  I love you Lolo!

Big thanks to Tanner Haid for his help with the edits on this one.

Lyrics:

Looking at the back of your head
Watching you work
And then you turn
Looking at the back of my head
Watching me play
We never learn
We never learn
We chose this life.
We chose it
We chose this life
Tell me when you're on the way home
Your shift is done
Your mind is numb
I make up a dinner at home
The table's set
I made the bed
Another day
is gone away
We chose it
We chose this life
We chose it
We chose this life
We made this
We mold this
We fold this
We hold it
We told it so
We shoulder
the load is so
the load is so light
We chose it
We chose it
We chose this life
We chose it
We chose this life
The Earth revolves
Time dissolves
And we've evolved
(The load is so light)
We pass the days
They pass away
And we're okay
We're here to stay
We chose it
We chose this life
(The load is so light)
We chose it
We chose this life
(The load is so light)
We chose it
We chose it
We chose it
We chose this life
(The load is so light)
We chose it
We chose this life

Soulbound

Artwork by Alyson Williams

This song is dedicated to Lolo in honor of our upcoming 25th anniversary.  While impossible to effectively express how profound my feelings are for her, I attempted to cobble together some semblance of the binding force that connects the two of us.  The lyrics reflect a nod to the many games we've played together in which items become soulbound to our various characters, as well as being hopelessly dependent upon one another.  There's also some stuff about Laverne & Shirley for some reason.  I love you Lolo!

The artwork associated with this tune comes from an extremely talented artist from California, Alyson Williams.  She worked with us for a few weeks getting a good feel for the song, our thoughts, and the message at hand.  It's been a great experience, one we've been very lucky to have.  Thanks so much Alyson!  Please check out more of her work here -->  brokenumbrellablob.blogspot.com

Lyrics:

I'll be your Shirley
You can be my Laverne
We can drink milk and Pepsi
And we can put these gloves on bottles at work
for the rest of our lives

I have become soulbound to you.
You have become soulbound to me.
We are symbiotic.
We went a half a million miles.
I'll go a million more miles with you.

Soulbound to me
Soulbound to you
We went a half a million miles.
I'll go a million more miles with you.

I'll be your lichen
You can be my green moss
We'll find a boulder
Then we can always embrace
and have no cares about anything else

Beat Walker

"Beat Walker" artwork by Wiles, Dylan, and Ashland Assael

Happy Valentine's Day Lolo!  This song is dedicated to you, my partner in life, love and music.  You've become a master at creating sounds with me on our Mac.  As our music is funneled through your ears, it becomes something more than I could ever hope to create by myself.  Without you, The Efts are nothing.  Thanks for being a wonderful and creative force.  You are the Beat Walker, and you bring me to my knees.  I love you Lolo!

Big thanks go out the Assael family for the triptych associated with this song.  It's the kind of art that makes me want to rejoice.  I can't wait to see more artwork from your amazing family.

Lyrics:

I'm a street talker baby

you're a beat walker.

And when I come around

looking down

Calling all around this town.

Heat.

You know what I need baby.

Hammer out the lead.

I gotta find a seat

'cause now you brought the beat baby.

Beat it to my teeth, lady

Feel in in my feet. Maybe

put it all the way down in the ground

deeper than the speaker sounds.

Make me wanna jump around

show me why they say that you're a beat walker

you're not a sweet talker

I can recognize in your eyes

when it's time to synthesize

beats.  

You can call it fate now

I can call it luck how

we can build a house out of

beat bricks, wicked licks

and drummer sticks.

Beat walker bring me to my knees

You know what I need.  Lead

me to sonic seeds. Feed

me the chronic beats. Rocker

down upon the keys, squeeze

on my knees. Don't you be a rhythm tease.

Please.

'Cause you're a beat walker.

Chris A Ivey

Chris A Ivey

This song is dedicated to a powerful and magnetic WvW (world vs world) player on Ferguson's Crossing, our Guild Wars 2 server.  Chris A Ivey has an incredible talent for siege tactics, player control, and is a natural leader in our crusade against our server's enemies.  This is underscored by the fact that his character is a diminutive pink-clad sword-wielding Asura.  Prior to his appearance, we tended to wander aimlessly around the huge WvW maps without focus.  Now that Chris is an integral part of the Ferguson's Crossing war machine, we've managed to overcome the fact that we're vastly outnumbered by our opposing factions.  Join us in GW2 and bear witness to the Chris A Ivey effect.  He will lead you home.

Lyrics:

We were lost within a wilderness,

our backs against a wall.

Our wounded limped among

defeated moans.

We heard his battlecry rise up

inside our sore beleaguered line

Chris A Ivey had arrived

to lead us home.

We will follow him straight down to hell.

No problem.

We will return soon with tales to tell

about him.

Let's go, we gotta build this treb for him.

Come on, supply up.

Chris A Ivey

gonna guide me.

Brandon's Theme

Brandon's Theme artwork by Jackson

This song is dedicated to my excellent co-worker and good pal Brandon Judy.  He's a selfless worker who has the amazing ability to easily maintain a complex network of computers spread out across five large rural counties.  Brandon's also a really good guy, deserving of a theme song for trips out to fix various IT related concerns.  Thanks for the awesome support Brandon, we hope you enjoy this one!

The artwork associated with this post is an original by Jackson.  Thanks for another fantastic picture Jack!  Your talent continues to astound me.

Lyrics:

I've got your password.

I've got your user ID.

I know your itinerary.

I've got you.

I see your data.

It travels up through my veins

and settles deep in my brains.

I've thought you.

Guess I better ride out to the job.

These people don't know what I have to do.

Nobody else can do this good of a job

I've got this place running smooth.

I know their secret thoughts

thanks to my seeker bots.

and now their hidden spots

are on display.

They need a password.

They need a user ID.

They need their itinerary.

They need me.

Andrew Treat Does Everything Right

...or you can check the YouTube version -->  Andrew Treat Does Everything Right - The Efts

This tune is dedicated to our pal Andrew Treat (AT).  A perfect host and delightful friend, AT has been the focal point for several of our adventures over the last decade.  This song reflects an entirely true tale of a weekend which occured about a decade ago. Here's one of the reasons AT is so cool: that same weekend he took all of the partygoers to see this giant mound of alcohol he purchased for the party. I was the only non-drinker there, and he took me aside and pointed out a whole case of orange soda he had picked up for me. Andrew Treat does everything right.

Lyrics:

We were at this party, it was going great.
We were there at Andrew's, at his awesome place.
It was still daytime and we played basketball.
Right out in front of his house, we could play basketball.
Andrew Treat does everything right.

It was almost evening and we needed to rent games
So we drove to Blockbuster in his Honda Prelude
He had a Honda Prelude with a loud stereo.
We listened to rap music on his loud stereo.

Just like I always wanted.
Andrew Treat does everything right.

We got to Blockbuster and we picked out all our games
We went to the counter and he paid for all our games.
He just rented our games without paying late fees.
He paid no late fees and just rented games.

I want basketball, I want Preludes.
I want rentals without late dues.

We Really Like Tim Gunn

or you can check the YouTube version --> We Really Like Tim Gunn - The Efts

This song is dedicated to our favorite television personality.  Tim Gunn is consistently smooth-styled, even-tempered and uncommonly cool.  Thanks for all the years of entertainment Tim!  Your influence inspires.  You continue to be our imaginary mentor.  A special thanks goes out to KY for the mind-bending image used in this post.

Lyrics:

Sometimes we lack our motivation.
Sometimes we lack the will to make it through the day.
Verification is just a way to say
we're making it okay. 
It's gonna be okay.

Sometimes we need a coach.
A guide to point the way
because they've been that way before.
One that wouldn't yell or make us feel real small.
One with patience and a suit.
He could gently hint about an angle that we missed.
And we'd make a little list to remind us of his words.

That's why we really like Tim Gunn.
We really like Tim Gunn.

We'd have him here for dinner if we could.
And we'd talk about his life and he'd pet our little dog.
Good times would be had by all.

Skill Tree

My Sword Will Be On Fire by Wiles A.

...or you can check out the YouTube version --> Skill Tree - The Efts

   This song is dedicated to the PvPer.  Lolo and I have played many multiplayer games.  When given a choice, we pick PvP (player vs player) servers every time.  The added element of random spars with an actual player can make or break a game for us.  This tune reflects the feeling we tend to have after losing in a PvP situation.  The need for vengeance is usually overwhelming.  Skill tree tweaks, armor changes, hotkey placement, etc... it's all examined prior to a concerted effort to find and eliminate the perpetrator.  From MUDs in the early 1990s to current MMORPGs, we've been doing this for a long time.  May our enemies realize the futility of their ways.

Lyrics:

What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.
What if I'm dead?
What if I had a million lives? 
To my killers I'd say:

I'm adjusting my skill tree
and I will see you again on the other side.
My sword will be on fire
and hot rays of death will pour out of my shield.

There are twenty things I will do before we meet again:
practice, practice, practice, practice, practice, 

practice, practice, practice, practice, practice,
practice, practice, practice, practice, practice,
practice, practice, practice, practice, practice.

I'm adjusting my skill tree
and I will see you again on the other side.
My sword will be on fire
and hot rays of death will pour out of my shield.

Wearing acid coated armor
with a helm forged in molten rage.
I will ride upon a demon steed
and you will feel my wrath.

KY's Theme

KY's basement March 2002

...or you can check out the YouTube version ---> KY's Theme 0.4

This song is dedicated to our friend Kristian Yeager (KY).  We've been playing video games together for many years, so it seemed appropriate to write him a song about leveling up.  KY is a good dad and a good husband.  I (Shannon) am a terrible influence.  Regardless of my constant temptations of gaming goodness, KY puts his family first.  That being said, once his family is all tucked in bed KY becomes a gaming god.  Lolo and I have spent so many evenings playing WoW, DDR, WoW, Rock Band, WoW and WoW with Kristian.  May we level up again and again, KY!

Lolo and I were (as usual) experimenting with music recently and made a 240 bpm remix of KY's Theme 0.4.  Check it out if you feel like possibly having an earblow.  Yeah you heard me.  Earblow.  A mindblow of the ear.

Download/Listen to this song --->  KYs Theme 240bpm Remix - The Efts

Listen to the YouTube version ---> KY's Theme 240bpm remix

Lyrics (same for both versions)

Your kids are tucked in tight
Your spouse is sleeping all night
You got a drink and a game and you're feeling alright.

Shed your real life skin as you pass the login
and you know as you go that you'll level tonight.

Don't you stop till you get that drop. 
Fight fight fight till you level up tonight

Fade into this game with me
Let's blow this up with some TNT.
We might even do some PvP.
Now come along and level up with me.