March 06, 2017

Micky Science

This song is dedicated to (and inspired by) our close friend Amrik Brar, aka Micky, a biology teacher, good dad, and all-round great dude.  Amrik is a man who is resolute in his principles, unafraid to face adversity.  We've been so impressed with his work fighting the current administration's anti-environmental ethos, we had to write a song for him. Here's what you need to know about Amrik: he's a dragonborn paladin in our ad&d group. Dragonborn. Paladin. You don't mess with that guy.  Love you Mick, keep up the good fight!  We're with you every step of the way.

Samples are from (in order) Stephen Hawking, Bob Ross, Linus Pauling, Linus Pauling, a blue whale, Linus Pauling, and some birds.


My name is Micky Science (science!)
A lion of defiance
In alliance with my clients
we are minus all compliance
Pseudoscience is for tyrants (science!)
and all the silent giants
I got a license for subsidence
I require your suppliance
A master of biology
A caster of technology
A pastor of cosmology
I passed and you can follow me
They create their faker data 
Reinstate their hater state-uh
Legislators abdicate their hate mandate
Baiting demonstrators stating 'Terminate!'
Futuristic scientific fates await
For those who waited late to sate their heads of state

March 28, 2016

The Efts get some time on the new Trust the Wizards!

Check out the podcast here -->

Once again we've been pointed out by the deified fingers of the gang from Trust the Wizards.  This time whey chose to play Ctrl-Alt-Del, a track from our newest album.  The Wizards discuss some parallel thoughts of other computer behavior/human behavior similarities and go on to play quite a few other great tunes including a song from one of our all-time favorite albums, Trompe le Monde by Pixies.

Please check out the Trust the Wizards podcast.  Their silver tongues will delight you, we promise.

December 31, 2015

Our 8th album Plastic Heart is released!

After almost 2 years of anticipation, our 8th album is now live.  Plastic Heart is a 12-song collection of the work we've completed most recently.  It includes songs written for each other, songs for friends, songs written by friends, and several instrumentals.  We almost called the album 'Haid' in reference to our pal Tanner Haid.  His fingerprints are all over this album both as a collaborator and editor.  He also penned the lyrics to Hector, one of our favorite tracks on this project.  Another good friend, Dom Gianninoto, wrote the lyrics to You and I.  We are very pleased to have included this song and are happy Dom has been involved with our music.

In addition to Tanner, we would also like to thank our parents, Dylan Assael, Zach Whetzel, Kristian Yeager, Jeff Birdsall, Dom Gianninoto, Bob Maestri, Kevin Wurster, Andrew Treat, Amrik Brar, and all of the members of our beta squad. 

Plastic Heart is currently exclusively available from Google Play.  Download it for free here.

December 11, 2015


Hector is another song borne of the Musical Telephone project.  Originally written by Tanner Haid, Hector is the soulful tale of a school custodian's current station in life.  Tanner's influence on The Efts has been profound, and we were excited to have an opportunity to cover one of his works.  Again, we are overjoyed to be participating in Musical Telephone.  Our eternal thanks go out to all of the members of this talented group of songwriters.


I used to clean the floors
For all the children they spilled all their milk
And then ran outdoors
Back to their houses full of love and warmth
And I'd close the lights
After I'd check to see that all the bins were clean
And i'd find a home
In a hole in the wall down on 16th

I'm down on 16th
Down on 16th
Going on 60
Down on 16th

And then after lunch
In a classroom full of exhaled breath
I'd scrape the gum
From the bottom on 1980's desks
And i'd wash the walls
So tomorrow they could come in clean
And i'd brush my teeth
In a hole in the wall down on 16th

I'm down on 16th
Down on 16th
Going on 60
Down on 16th

If only they could see
If only they could see me
I'm down
On the ground

You and I

The Efts were recently invited to participate in a super fun musical experiment.  Developed by brainiac musical wunderkinds Tanner Haid, Kevin Wurster and Dominic Gianninoto, Musical Telephone is like a songwriting version of Telephone (aka Gossip).  One member of the group pens a song and sends it to the next person.  That person records a cover of the original song, then sends their version along to a third cadre member.  It continues along the line until each person creates a version of the previously recorded song.  It's been a great catalyst for inventive songwriting.  We feel incredibly fortunate to have been involved in the project and look forward to hopefully many more songs to develop from this cauldron of musical creativity.  If you would like to participate in Musical Telephone, simply send a short email with your name, an original mp3 of one of your songs and lyrics for your tune to

This song was originally written by Dom.  We received it after a few renditions, all of which were really amazing.


I'm dreaming of squirrels doing dinosaurs
I'm dreaming of a world for you and I
I'm waking in the morning and I'm snoring
Hoping I'm alive and not dead
My friends are dogs and kangaroos
We go dancing all night long

I'm dreaming of a world for you and I

In the morning we lay ourselves down

Awaken my eyes
Awaken my mind
Awaken my eyes
Awaken my mind
Awaken my eyes

I'm dreaming of a world for you and I

October 27, 2015

We Chose This Life

This tune is for Lolo for her 2015 birthday gift song.  After 25 years of co-existence, a song with a more serious tone was in order.  We carefully chose our life.  We cultivated it through our choices, our methods, our love and our desire for one another.  We focus on living simplistically, with few complications and more freedoms.  As we begin the next 25 years together our love continues to grow.  It's our life and we chose it.  I love you Lolo!

Big thanks to Tanner Haid for his help with the edits on this one.


Looking at the back of your head
Watching you work
And then you turn
Looking at the back of my head
Watching me play
We never learn
We never learn
We chose this life.
We chose it
We chose this life
Tell me when you're on the way home
Your shift is done
Your mind is numb
I make up a dinner at home
The table's set
I made the bed
Another day
is gone away
We chose it
We chose this life
We chose it
We chose this life
We made this
We mold this
We fold this
We hold it
We told it so
We shoulder
the load is so
the load is so light
We chose it
We chose it
We chose this life
We chose it
We chose this life
The Earth revolves
Time dissolves
And we've evolved
(The load is so light)
We pass the days
They pass away
And we're okay
We're here to stay
We chose it
We chose this life
(The load is so light)
We chose it
We chose this life
(The load is so light)
We chose it
We chose it
We chose it
We chose this life
(The load is so light)
We chose it
We chose this life

September 08, 2015

Ctrl Alt Del

Inspired by the name of a friendly Google Play reviewer (CtrlAltDelete Irl), this song reflects our innate disdain of a stagnant lifestyle.  Sometimes we must reboot in order to move forward.

Thanks to Dylan Assael for the video, and to Tanner Haid for his advice.  And a very special thanks to CtrlAltDelete Irl for his words and inspiration.


Some chapters close
Some chapters open
Some books get burned.

And so we've learned
to keep a cool head
adapting instead
when life is cheap.

Ctrl Alt Del.

Some people go down the drain,
some never get in the tank,
but you and me, we have paddles
so we float away.

And stay
the way
we want
to stay

Ctrl Alt Del.

Reset our feet.

Rinse and repeat.

Our jobs are not important
Our house is not important
Money is not important

But we should be

who we
are meant
to be

April 13, 2015

The Efts on Trust The Wizards AGAIN!

Click the image above to listen to the show!

The Efts were once again a part of Trust The Wizards podcast!  Hoorah!  This time they played our song called Beat Walker and discussed some of the correspondence between ourselves and Rebel Rikkit, one of the esteemed members of the show.  The entire 2 hour program is delightfully funny, fantastically eclectic, and definitely worth hearing.   We are completely in awe of their broad taste in music, and feel very lucky to have been a part of their productions.  Thanks so much Wizards!   

March 23, 2015

The Efts on Trust The Wizards podcast!

Listen/Download the entire podcast here ----> Trust The Wizards episode 37

We were recently contacted by one of the esteemed members of Trust The Wizards, a group of music lovers who produce a fantastically eclectic podcast on a regular basis.  They were interested in one of our older songs called Your Turn Now.  The song appeared on their most recent podcast which also includes Wu Tang Clan, The Clash, King Curtis, and many more musical groups (see?  Eclectic! Yesss!).  We are begging you to listen to Trust The Wizards.  The show's hosts play music from their enormous collection, then discuss each selection in a witty and intelligent manner.  Thanks so much for reaching out to us Wizards!

November 12, 2014


Artwork by Alyson Williams

This song is dedicated to Lolo in honor of our upcoming 25th anniversary.  While impossible to effectively express how profound my feelings are for her, I attempted to cobble together some semblance of the binding force that connects the two of us.  The lyrics reflect a nod to the many games we've played together in which items become soulbound to our various characters, as well as being hopelessly dependent upon one another.  There's also some stuff about Laverne & Shirley for some reason.  I love you Lolo!

The artwork associated with this tune comes from an extremely talented artist from California, Alyson Williams.  She worked with us for a few weeks getting a good feel for the song, our thoughts, and the message at hand.  It's been a great experience, one we've been very lucky to have.  Thanks so much Alyson!  Please check out more of her work here -->


I'll be your Shirley
You can be my Laverne
We can drink milk and Pepsi
And we can put these gloves on bottles at work
for the rest of our lives

I have become soulbound to you.
You have become soulbound to me.
We are symbiotic.
We went a half a million miles.
I'll go a million more miles with you.

Soulbound to me
Soulbound to you
We went a half a million miles.
I'll go a million more miles with you.

I'll be your lichen
You can be my green moss
We'll find a boulder
Then we can always embrace
and have no cares about anything else

April 21, 2014

The Efts on The Most Popular Girls on the Internet again! Yesssssss!

Check out the fantastic podcast here --> TMPGOTI Episode 235

The Efts have led generally charmed lives.  We've had wonderful things happen to us over the years.  Among those wonderful things is the fact that we've crossed paths with The Most Popular Girls on the Internet.  We've managed to once again become the featured breaky-break song on TMPGOTI's podcast this week.  We strongly suggest you head to their site to check out the episode so you can hear Tara and Sassy discuss Game of Thrones (without spoilers!), Everquest Landmark, gallbladder problems, the psychological consequences of playing video games, being in the Grant County Press and much more.

Once again we'd like to thank TMPGOTI for being our favorite venue.  We love you Tara and Sassy!!

April 15, 2014

The Efts in the Grant County Press!

Front page of the Grant County Press - March 8 2014 edition

It was with great honor that we found ourselves in our hometown's esteemed newspaper last week.  After an interview with local newsman extraordinaire Tom Hencke, we were a little apprehensive about the reaction from our area's general populace.  Considering the local radio stations run the gambit from country to Christian to Christian-country, we knew most curious locals were about to hear some music stylings they might not have been privvy to before reading the article.  Our apprehension was dismissed almost immediately as we received a wonderful outpouring of support for our craft.  Thanks go out to Mr Tom Hencke for his beautiful wordsmithing.  We would also like to thank the town of Petersburg for their subsequent support and wellwishing.  Fun times!

Page 9 continuation of the article

March 12, 2014

Bits. Bytes. Beats. Released!!!

Download the album for free here --->  Bits. Bytes. Beats.

Beats. Beats. BEATS!!!  We released our 7th album today!  'Bits. Bytes. Beats' is a collection of our eight most recent songs.  We feel like this is our best work to date.  Each of the songs on this album are original works written and composed by Shannon & Loretta of The Efts.  All of the tunes have been spiffed up, hosed down and generally made better than the versions already available on this blog.  Topics on this album include music creation, amazing parties, best friends, cool art made by best friends, favorite tv characters, our feelings for one another, favorite podcasts and favorite playlisters.  This collection of songs is available for free from Google Play and can also be heard on Earbits Radio.

Track list for Bits. Bytes. Beats.:
1. Beat Walker
2. What You Mean to Me
3. You're Not Afraid of Color
4. Charlie Is the Foundation
5. 69 Songs
6. The Most Popular Girls on the Internet
7. Andrew Treat Does Everything Right Redux
8. The Stone Rose

We would like to thank the following people for their support:  Our parents, Anita Heatwole, Tanner Haid, Kristian Yeager, Sara Treat, Dylan Assael, Kara Dean, Jackson Yeager, Tara & Cassandra from TMPGOTI, Andrew Treat, Amrik Brar, IndieSixtynine, Kervens Brun, John Lyon, Dezi Schuster, Carmen Smith, and Brandon Judy.

March 09, 2014

The Stone Rose

The Stone Rose artwork by Dylan Assael

This song is dedicated one of our bestest friends ever: Kara Dean. We wrote an earlier song about one of her alter egos called Tiniest Viking. This tune is about another one of the facets of her personality, a being called The Stone Rose. We were inspired by a recent email to us from her partner and best pal Dylan which read in part:

nobody can controllably summon her. She comes when she wants to.
She rallies the party, even when there is no party to rally. 
She dances late into the early morning. 
She wrestles women twice her strength, to a draw! 
She's got that can do anything attitude. 
She's lightning, and thunder in a bottle.
And man, I have a serious crush on her.

The lyrics we wrote (found below) reflect the words Dylan wrote and the feelings both of the members of The Efts have for Deanie. Some of the best times we've had in our lives have been with The Stone Rose. We will love her forever and beyond.


You cannot beat her up
She already did it for you
With her one black eye
she'll do everything she wanted to.
All she ever wanted to do.

With the party all around her
she's the engine in the center.
She's enveloped in the wonder
of the lightning and the thunder she called
down out of the sky 
and she falls down.

She picks herself up and she dusts herself off
and she picks a fight with someone twice her size

It's alright.
It's alright.
It's alright.

We will help you.
We will hold you.
We will love you.
The Stone Rose.

March 07, 2014

You're Not Afraid of Color

Dylan in Colors artwork by Shannon

This tune is dedicated to one of our best friends in the whole world: Dylan Assael. We met Dyl in 1991 at art school. Since then he's been an integral part of our lives. Every home and workspace we've had has been decorated with his art. His influence on the way we talk, walk and think is immeasurable and profound. His sense of adventure, his sense of humor, and his sense of style have blended together into a legendary source of inspiration for both members of The Efts.  We hope you enjoy this tribute to his lifelong devotion to the arts and our lives.


You're not afraid of color.
Yellows and greens.
You blend it with another
You're filling the screen

Now you put the pen on paper.
Not later.
And you draw up a curve.
You swerve.
Now you dig a little deeper,
you creeper.
And you're brushing a nerve.

If I had to pick a brother
you know you're the one.
You are from a different mother.
But our connection
it could not be any stronger
It burns like the sun
and my brain is on fire

You're not afraid of color
Purple and red
Now you're sketching up another.
Your hand from your head.

Now your pencil is a pistol
a missile
And it's shooting me dead,
the lead.
Put your vision to the paper
a sabre
Is stuck in my head

Make your mark upon the printer
you're lifting the ink
Put the compass in the center
you color it pink
Make a caster at the minter
I shudder to think
what you're working on next

You're not afraid of color
Orange and blue
You're not like every other
When you mix up the hues

If I had to pick a brother
you know you're the one.
You are from a different mother.
But our connection
it could not be any stronger
It burns like the sun
and my brain is on fire

You're not afraid of color
and my brain is on fire.

March 04, 2014

The Efts on The Most Popular Girls on the Internet Episode 230!

Check out the excellent podcast here --> TMPGOTI: 20 Degrees Calculus

For the first time ever, a podcast has played one of our songs before we've had a chance to release it.  The Most Popular Girls on the Internet made our snow day even better by surprising us with adding our newest song 'You're Not Afraid of Color' to their 230th episode over the weekend.  Both of the wonderful hosts of TMPGOTI are members of our music beta team.  As a result, they heard this several days before we've had a chance to put on the song's finishing touches and get some associated art for the release.  We once again implore you to check out their show.  Listen as Sassy gushes about her favorite Bond actor and debates about the amount of time allowed before spoilers can be unleashed upon the interwebs.  Hear all about the continued alpha action as Tara works her way through Everquest Next: Landmark and rants about the whole Comcast/Netflix debacle.  Hilarity will ensue as Sassy tries to use words with her mouth.  We love you TMPGOTI!  Thanks for giving our music a home.

February 19, 2014

69 Songs

"69 Songs In An Envelope" artwork by Jackson Y

     For several years our lives have been musically enriched by one man who continues to shine a beacon on songs we probably would have never otherwise heard.  Indie Sixtynine is one of the world's most prolific and dedicated music purveyors, aggregators, and disseminators.  His taste is exquisite, his methods are focused, and his work is constantly appreciated in our household.  We celebrate his existence and his influence on our own work.  As a gift for Indie's upcoming 5-year playlist anniversary, we've created this song in tribute to him.  Thanks Indie!  You've made our world brighter, something we will never forget.

     This song is accompanied by a radical piece of custom artwork by the venerable and talented Jackson Y.  Thank you once again for the art Jack!  Your skills continue to astound us.


69 songs in an envelope
69 pieces of this message to me

This isn't political and this is not about money
Its a stream of consciousness from you.

69 songs in an envelope
69 moments that I've shared some time with you.

Your message has been received
Your 69 songs set free

I puzzled together the way that you feel
how you carry the burden for me

I puzzled together the way that you feel
how you stay independent with me  

Beat Walker

"Beat Walker" artwork by Wiles, Dylan, and Ashland Assael

Happy Valentine's Day Lolo!  This song is dedicated to you, my partner in life, love and music.  You've become a master at creating sounds with me on our Mac.  As our music is funneled through your ears, it becomes something more than I could ever hope to create by myself.  Without you, The Efts are nothing.  Thanks for being a wonderful and creative force.  You are the Beat Walker, and you bring me to my knees.  I love you Lolo!

Big thanks go out the Assael family for the triptych associated with this song.  It's the kind of art that makes me want to rejoice.  I can't wait to see more artwork from your amazing family.


I'm a street talker baby
you're a beat walker.
And when I come around
looking down
Calling all around this town.
You know what I need baby.
Hammer out the lead.
I gotta find a seat
'cause now you brought the beat baby.
Beat it to my teeth, lady
Feel in in my feet. Maybe
put it all the way down in the ground
deeper than the speaker sounds.
Make me wanna jump around
show me why they say that you're a beat walker
you're not a sweet talker
I can recognize in your eyes
when it's time to synthesize
You can call it fate now
I can call it luck how
we can build a house out of
beat bricks, wicked licks
and drummer sticks.
Beat walker bring me to my knees
You know what I need.  Lead
me to sonic seeds. Feed
me the chronic beats. Rocker
down upon the keys, squeeze
on my knees. Don't you be a rhythm tease.
'Cause you're a beat walker.

January 25, 2014

Andrew Treat Does Everything Right Redux

Those of us in certain circles have often said Andrew Treat does everything right.  He's a thoughtful friend who is the perfect accomplice for adventures that often share a border with life-altering experiences. This song reflects the 2nd in a series of parties hosted by the incomparable Andrew Treat.  Borrowing heavily from the material from our first song about an AT-related party, we've updated the lyrics to reflect a more recent vice-fueled weekend at his place in Parkersburg.  We also added some stuff like bass drops, bigger drums and deeper synths.  We'd like to thank beta team members Tanner, KY, Amrik and AT for their help.  We'd also like to thank the incredible Jackson Y for the poignant picture drawn for this song.  Seeing Jackson's vision of Andrew Treat in Game of Thrones form is a wonderful companion image for this project.


I don't remember all of September.  Oh no.
I just remember pieces of this adventure.

It was me and AT
KY and Amrik
and it was scheduled to be
a Game of Thrones viewing

There was a giant TV
A million color 3-D
and it was loud as could be

He had an Acura TL
in which I sat in the back
and as the afternoon gelled
we all listened to rap

And then we made a quick stop
down at the old butcher shop
we got some red bloody chops
and then some red soda pop 

There was Rock Band, GTA
Staying up all night and day
Bourbon and some Powerade
Swervin' at the chopper raid.

And as the day began to fade
my memory began to shade
Games we barely got to play
Drinking till the light of day

We watched an orb weaver
make her man feed her
Covered in gore creature
on his back porch feature

January 11, 2014

Charlie Is the Foundation

Charlie Day artwork by Jackson Y.

The Efts watch a lot of TV.  Over the last few years, one show has emerged to dominate our television: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  We've become unabashedly enamored with one of the show's characters.  Charlie Kelly (portrayed by the ultra-talented Charlie Day) is a product of a broken home, broken dreams and broken teeth.  His indomitable spirit allows him to maintain a relatively positive attitude regardless of the stressors provided by the world at large.  "Charlie is our foundation!" is an exclamation made by Danny DeVito's Frank in episode 8 of season 9.  We agree.  We felt a need to pay homage to Charlie Kelly in song form.  We hope you enjoy.  

A special thanks goes out to Jackson Y for the superb artwork accompanying this song.  He continues to provide an integral facet of our overall musical product through his work as West Virginia's youngest professional artist.  We would also like to thank beta team member Tanner Haid for his musical and editing guidance.


Boil denim that he found down under the bridge
With an eye to the side for the waitress
He will smash all the rats with his bashin' stick
and he might spend a night in the crevice.

With a soft spot copped for the man in green
he will pop tops off of the bottled drink
He's a friend to the end of the final scene

Charlie is the foundation
with the whole world on his back.

With the law of the bird he recalls what he heard
and he tosses the word 'filibuster'
Scrapping for every single thing that he owns
He atones.

Breathing fumes in the rooms of his empty bar
with his tools and the ghouls, doesn't need a car.
He's content that he went never nowhere far

Nowhere far.

December 10, 2013

The Efts on Indie69's Best of 2013 Playlist!

Download the amazing playlist here -->  Indie69bestOf2013

We've received several great honors during our tenure as active musicians.  These include hearing our music on The Most Popular Girls on the Internet and Radio Free Hipster, seeing our stuff available for free on Google Play, and being included in various playlists aggregated by Indie69.  Last week we were floored to discover our version of Strangers has been included in the Indie69 Best of 2013 playlist.  For those of you who follow this blog, you no doubt already know of Indie69 and his work.  We can't thank him enough for his never-ending sonic beam.  Being part of this particular playlist is an amazing way to end the year.  Thanks so much Indie!  You'll always have a place in our hearts and our souls.

November 19, 2013

What You Mean To Me

Several times I've tried to write a song about what Lolo means to me.  It's difficult because she means everything to me, something too huge and profound to jam into a ditty.  This song reflects the millionth attempt of trying to tell Lolo that while she's one of the most self-sufficient people on the planet, I love that we've become partners.  This is also my birthday present to her this year.  I love you Lolo!!


It's what you mean to me.
Under these trees
you're a skeleton key.

I tried to say it better
I tried to write a letter
I didn't know the words.

What you mean to me
you're the air that I breathe
the water I bleed

You can carry me
under your wing
But you set me to fly
by your side

What you mean to me
under these trees
going to be

feeling free

November 07, 2013

The Efts on Indie69's November 2013 Playlist!

November is The Efts' birthday month.  This year's birthday month is starting off great, as we've been included in Indie69's November 2013 playlist.  If you're tired of listening to the same old music, we encourage you to fire up your favorite torrent software and suck down 70 new songs courtesy of the ever-present audiophile Indie Sixtynine.  We're honored to see our latest song Waiting Room included in the mammoth offering of tunes this month.  Thanks as always go out to our favorite music aggregator - Indie Sixtynine makes every month a reason to celebrate.

October 25, 2013

The Most Popular Girls on the Internet Play GTA5

Listen to the rad podcast here --> Episode 218: Hysteria

As usual we're playing the same video games as The Most Popular Girls on the Internet.  Currently that game is Grand Theft Auto 5, arguably the best game ever for generation 7 consoles.  This week brings a new TMPGOTI, and with it brings tales of Tara and Cassandra playing GTA, drawing penises, and a fun new Drunknowlegy.  They also play our version of Waiting Room.  Needless to say its a riveting episode that shouldn't be missed so why are you still reading this?  Check out the link above!

October 15, 2013

Our 6th album has been released!

Yessssssss!!  Our 6th album (Geekover) has been released on Google Play today!  This collection of songs features covers of tunes that are important to the lives of the members of The Efts.  Our thanks go out to all of the original authors of these songs for their creativity and hard work.  We would also like to thank the members of The Efts Beta Listening Team for their help with making finished products from our early versions of these tunes.  Finally we would like to thank Jackson Y for his beautiful artwork created for the cover of this album.

Songs found in this album include:

The Efts on Indie 69 October 2013 playlist!

Download the playlist here -->  Indie69 October 2013

One of the best things about the beginning of any given month is the release of a new playlist from the revered Indie Sixtynine.  We are honored to have been included in this month's double-sized selection of music gleaned from all corners of the audiosphere.  Our thanks go out to Indie Sixtynine for his tireless devotion to lovers of music everywhere.

September 27, 2013

Waiting Room

Pope & Brace's poster for the 1988 Fugazi show in Morgantown, West Virginia

Fugazi.  They've been one of the most important bands in our lives.  Not only have we listened to their tapes (and cds and records) for more than 2 decades, they also provided the first really good show we ever saw live.  Fugazi was fronted by Ian MacKaye, possibly the most iconic figure in punk music from our geographical area.  His music, lifestyle, and presence all have a place in our hearts.  We knew we had to cover at least one of their tunes in our upcoming covers album.  After trying to work up a cover of Margin Walker and Give Me the Cure we ended up lovingly recreating Waiting Room instead.  All of the aforementioned songs are featured on Fugazi's amazing album called 13 Songs.  Comprised of the band's first two EPs, its the album we would choose if we could only listen to one album for the rest of our lives.  Even after many hundreds of listens, 13 Songs remains solidly at #1 of our list of all-time best records in history.  Our enduring thanks go out to all of Fugazi's members for their talent and dedication to the scene.  Their music will remain a primary facet of our lives until we die.


I am a patient boy
I wait, I wait, I wait, I wait
My time is water down a drain

Everybody's moving
Everybody's moving
Everything is moving,
Moving, moving, moving

Please don't leave me to remain
In the waiting room

I don't want the news
(I cannot use it)
I don't want the news
(I won't live by it)

Sitting outside of town
Everybody's always down
(Tell me why)

Because they can't get up
(Ahhh... Come on and get up)
(Come on and get up)

But I won't sit idly by
I'm planning a big surprise
I'm gonna fight
For what I want to be

And I won't make the same mistakes
(Because I know)
Because I know how much time that wastes
(And function)
Function is the key
Inside the waiting room

I don't want the news
(I cannot use it)
I don't want the news
(I won't live by it)

Sitting outside of town
Everybody's always down
(Tell me why)

Because they can't get up
(Ahhh... Come on and get up)
Up from the waiting room

Sitting in the waiting room
Sitting in the waiting room
Sitting in the waiting room
Sitting in the waiting room

(Tell me why)
Because they can't get up

September 11, 2013

New Slang

Released in 2001 by The Shins, New Slang is one of our top ten favorite songs of all time.  James Mercer wrote the lyrics in an effort to describe his urge to get out of his hometown, job, relationship and life.  The words are presented in a manner that encourages the listener to envelope this sense of angst of one's surroundings.  The melody is timeless.  A song for eternity, this musical gift from The Shins will follow us around forever.

New Slang by The Shins has a rather sordid history with The Efts.
Shannon of The Efts was listening to the original Shins version when he flipped
his pickup truck into an icy creek several winters ago.  As the cab of
the truck filled with slushy ice-cold water, he frantically tried to
get the truck started so he could escape through the power windows.
With a final focused attempt to start the vehicle, the windows opened
and The Shins poignantly reminded him that he could dance like the
king of the eyesores and the rest of our lives would a' fared well.


Gold teeth and a curse for this town were all in my mouth.
Only, i don't know how they got out, dear.
Turn me back into the pet that i was when we met.
I was happier then with no mind-set.

And if you'd 'a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, I'd 'a jumped from my tree
And I'd a danced like the king of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.

New slang when you notice the stripes, the dirt in your fries.
Hope it's right when you die, old and bony.
Dawn breaks like a bull through the hall,
Never should have called
But my head's to the wall and I'm lonely.

And if you'd 'a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, I'd 'a jumped from my tree
And I'd a danced like the kind of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.

God speed all the bakers at dawn may they all cut their thumbs,
And bleed into their buns 'till they melt away.

I'm looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find.
Without a trust or flaming fields am i too dumb to refine?
And if you'd 'a took to me like
Well I'd a danced like the queen of the eyesores


Akai LPK 25 keyboard, Samson Meteor mic, MacBook Pro w/ Logic Pro, random headphones all used in this song

Written by lead guitarist/vocalist Dave Davies for his band The Kinks, Strangers has been a staple of the soundtrack to our lives for years.  This song first appeared in 1970 on The Kinks' album Lola Versus Powerman and the Moneygoround, part one.  The lyrics have found a place in many aspects of our lives.  It fits when we play mmorpgs, it fits at work, and it fits within our personal lives.  Some songs have a singular message, but this one seems to encompass a wide spectrum of messages.  We had fun recreating this tune in our own nerdy style, and our thanks go out to the extremely talented Mr Davies for his songwriting expertise.


Where are you going I don't mind
I've killed my world and I've killed my time
So where do I go what do I see
I see many people coming after me
So where are you going to I don't mind
If I live too long I'm afraid I'll die
So I will follow you wherever you go
If your offered hand is still open to me
Strangers on this road we are on
We are not two we are one
So you've been where I've just come
From the land that brings losers on
So we will share this road we walk
And mind our mouths and beware our talk
'Till peace we find tell you what I'll do
All the things I own I will share with you
If I feel tomorrow like I feel today
We'll take what we want and give the rest away
Strangers on this road we are on
We are not two we are one
Holy man and holy priest
This love of life makes me weak at my knees
And when we get there make your play
'Cos soon I feel you're gonna carry us away
In a promised lie you made us believe
For many men there is so much grief
And my mind is proud but it aches with rage
And if I live too long I'm afraid I'll die
Strangers on this road we are on
We are not two we are one
Strangers on this road we are on
We are not two we are one

July 01, 2013

TMPGOTI talks consoles in a (more or less) sober fashion

Check out the great new TMPGOTI here -->  Episode 204: It's all about the hardware

This past weekend we got to go hang with our very good friend Andrew Treat.  On our way to his place we joyously listened to the new episode of The Most Popular Girls on the Internet, something we love to do while cooped up in our truck.  We had some good laughs throughout episode 204, and learned more about the hardware differences between the upcoming Xbox One and the Playstation 4.  We also learned about Sassy's limited game title memory concerns.  TMPGOTI also included our recent cover of Baba O'Riley as their featured breaky break song.  Thanks for making our weekend even more fun TMPGOTI!  And happy birthday Tara!!

June 27, 2013

Annie's Song

Annie's Song by Jackson Y

Written by John Denver in 1973 as an ode to his wife Annie, this song is another of our favorite tunes of all time.  While most of our fellow West Virginians know Denver's 'Almost Heaven' (a song played during almost every WVU sports event), Annie's Song has had an even greater impact on the souls of The Efts.  After spending an evening at our friends Sara and Kristian's house listening to Mannheim Steamroller and playing boardgames, we were intrigued by the idea of smelting John Denver and Mannheim Steamroller together.  This song is the product of that particular idea.  We hope you enjoy this cover which is our 5th song made for our upcoming covers album.  Our eternal thanks go out to Jackson Y for another superb picture.  We love how he included so many elements of the song in this latest artwork.  Thanks so much Jack!


You fill up my senses
Like a night in a forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again

Come let me love you
Let me give my life to you
Let me drown in your laughter
Let me die in your arms
Let me lay down beside you
Let me always be with you
Come let me love you
Come love me again

You fill up my senses
Like a night in a forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again

June 23, 2013


Creep by Wiles Assael

Written by Thom Yorke and performed by Radiohead, Creep is one of our all-time favorite songs.  As known supergeeks, we tend to be awkward and weird in most social situations.  Lyrics such as "I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.  What am I doing here?  I don't belong here." were a welcome message to us as we awkwardly bumbled our way through many unfortunate social scenarios.  We made this cover with care, and are eternally grateful to Yorke and the rest of Radiohead for their stellar songwriting and performing skills.  We are also extremely thankful for the art accompanying this post.  It was drawn for us by Wiles Assael, a very talented young artist from New York.


When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so very special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice when I'm not around
You're so very special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What am I doing here?
I don't belong here

She's running out the door
She's running out
She runs runs runs

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so very special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here

June 18, 2013

TMPGOTI Gets Serious... Sort of.

Listen to the excellent podcast here -->  TMPGOTI Episode 202: Freedrunk

You know its going to be good when they start the podcast already inebriated.  Tara and Cassandra provide a couple hours of solid entertainment in their most recent episode of The Most Popular Girls on the Internet as they discuss games, movies, books, Game of Thrones etiquette, and have a relatively serious discussion regarding big brother monitoring the internet.  They also play The Efts version of True Colors during their mid-show breaky break.  We've said this several times on our blog, but we'll say it again: LISTEN TO TMPGOTI.  We are addicted to their weekly antics and look forward to each new episode.

June 09, 2013

Baba O'Riley

Wasteland by Wiles Assael

Written by Pete Townshend for a never-realized follow-up to The Who's rock opera Tommy, Baba O'Riley is what we consider to be one of the greatest rock-n-roll songs of all time.  The title of the song is derived from a combination of Meher Baba and Terry Riley.  We knew prior to undertaking this project that it would be challenging.  After many hours we discovered just how much of a challenge Baba O'Riley posed.  We now have even more respect for The Who, a band to which we've spent many hours listening.  This version features 9 vocal tracks, 10 synthesizer tracks, and 1 drum track meant to be an homage to the cool percussion found throughout the movie Me, Myself and Irene.  Our thanks go out to the original authors of this marvelous song, and to Wiles Assael for drawing an incredible piece of art for this post.


Out here in the fields
I fight for my meals.
I get my back into my living.
I don't need to fight
To prove I'm right.
I don't need to be forgiven.

Don't cry.
Don't raise your eye.
It's only teenage wasteland.

Sally take my hand.
Travel south crossland.
Put out the fire
Don't look past my shoulder.
The exodus is here.
The happy ones are near.
Let's get together
Before we get much older.

Teenage wasteland
It's only teenage wasteland
Teenage wasteland
Oh, oh
Teenage wasteland
They're all wasted!