Hector

Hector is another song borne of the Musical Telephone project.  Originally written by Tanner Haid, Hector is the soulful tale of a school custodian's current station in life.  Tanner's influence on The Efts has been profound, and we were excited to have an opportunity to cover one of his works.  Again, we are overjoyed to be participating in Musical Telephone.  Our eternal thanks go out to all of the members of this talented group of songwriters.

Lyrics:

I used to clean the floors
For all the children they spilled all their milk
And then ran outdoors
Back to their houses full of love and warmth
And I'd close the lights
After I'd check to see that all the bins were clean
And i'd find a home
In a hole in the wall down on 16th

I'm down on 16th
Down on 16th
Going on 60
Down on 16th

And then after lunch
In a classroom full of exhaled breath
I'd scrape the gum
From the bottom on 1980's desks
And i'd wash the walls
So tomorrow they could come in clean
And i'd brush my teeth
In a hole in the wall down on 16th

I'm down on 16th
Down on 16th
Going on 60
Down on 16th

If only they could see
If only they could see me
I'm down
On the ground

You and I

The Efts were recently invited to participate in a super fun musical experiment.  Developed by brainiac musical wunderkinds Tanner Haid, Kevin Wurster and Dominic Gianninoto, Musical Telephone is like a songwriting version of Telephone (aka Gossip).  One member of the group pens a song and sends it to the next person.  That person records a cover of the original song, then sends their version along to a third cadre member.  It continues along the line until each person creates a version of the previously recorded song.  It's been a great catalyst for inventive songwriting.  We feel incredibly fortunate to have been involved in the project and look forward to hopefully many more songs to develop from this cauldron of musical creativity.  If you would like to participate in Musical Telephone, simply send a short email with your name, an original mp3 of one of your songs and lyrics for your tune to musicaltelephone@gmail.com.

This song was originally written by Dom.  We received it after a few renditions, all of which were really amazing.

Lyrics:

I'm dreaming of squirrels doing dinosaurs
I'm dreaming of a world for you and I
I'm waking in the morning and I'm snoring
Hoping I'm alive and not dead
My friends are dogs and kangaroos
We go dancing all night long

I'm dreaming of a world for you and I

In the morning we lay ourselves down

Awaken my eyes
Awaken my mind
Awaken my eyes
Awaken my mind
Awaken my eyes

I'm dreaming of a world for you and I

We Chose This Life

This tune is for Lolo for her 2015 birthday gift song.  After 25 years of co-existence, a song with a more serious tone was in order.  We carefully chose our life.  We cultivated it through our choices, our methods, our love and our desire for one another.  We focus on living simplistically, with few complications and more freedoms.  As we begin the next 25 years together our love continues to grow.  It's our life and we chose it.  I love you Lolo!

Big thanks to Tanner Haid for his help with the edits on this one.

Lyrics:

Looking at the back of your head
Watching you work
And then you turn
Looking at the back of my head
Watching me play
We never learn
We never learn
We chose this life.
We chose it
We chose this life
Tell me when you're on the way home
Your shift is done
Your mind is numb
I make up a dinner at home
The table's set
I made the bed
Another day
is gone away
We chose it
We chose this life
We chose it
We chose this life
We made this
We mold this
We fold this
We hold it
We told it so
We shoulder
the load is so
the load is so light
We chose it
We chose it
We chose this life
We chose it
We chose this life
The Earth revolves
Time dissolves
And we've evolved
(The load is so light)
We pass the days
They pass away
And we're okay
We're here to stay
We chose it
We chose this life
(The load is so light)
We chose it
We chose this life
(The load is so light)
We chose it
We chose it
We chose it
We chose this life
(The load is so light)
We chose it
We chose this life

Ctrl Alt Del

Inspired by the name of a friendly Google Play reviewer (CtrlAltDelete Irl), this song reflects our innate disdain of a stagnant lifestyle.  Sometimes we must reboot in order to move forward.

Thanks to Dylan Assael for the video, and to Tanner Haid for his advice.  And a very special thanks to CtrlAltDelete Irl for his words and inspiration.

Lyrics:

Some chapters close
Some chapters open
Some books get burned.

And so we've learned
to keep a cool head
adapting instead
when life is cheap.

Ctrl Alt Del.

Some people go down the drain,
some never get in the tank,
but you and me, we have paddles
so we float away.

And stay
the way
we want
to stay

Ctrl Alt Del.

Reset our feet.

Rinse and repeat.

Our jobs are not important
Our house is not important
Money is not important

But we should be

who we
are meant
to be

Soulbound

Artwork by Alyson Williams

This song is dedicated to Lolo in honor of our upcoming 25th anniversary.  While impossible to effectively express how profound my feelings are for her, I attempted to cobble together some semblance of the binding force that connects the two of us.  The lyrics reflect a nod to the many games we've played together in which items become soulbound to our various characters, as well as being hopelessly dependent upon one another.  There's also some stuff about Laverne & Shirley for some reason.  I love you Lolo!

The artwork associated with this tune comes from an extremely talented artist from California, Alyson Williams.  She worked with us for a few weeks getting a good feel for the song, our thoughts, and the message at hand.  It's been a great experience, one we've been very lucky to have.  Thanks so much Alyson!  Please check out more of her work here -->  brokenumbrellablob.blogspot.com

Lyrics:

I'll be your Shirley
You can be my Laverne
We can drink milk and Pepsi
And we can put these gloves on bottles at work
for the rest of our lives

I have become soulbound to you.
You have become soulbound to me.
We are symbiotic.
We went a half a million miles.
I'll go a million more miles with you.

Soulbound to me
Soulbound to you
We went a half a million miles.
I'll go a million more miles with you.

I'll be your lichen
You can be my green moss
We'll find a boulder
Then we can always embrace
and have no cares about anything else

The Stone Rose

The Stone Rose artwork by Dylan Assael

This song is dedicated one of our bestest friends ever: Kara Dean. We wrote an earlier song about one of her alter egos called Tiniest Viking. This tune is about another one of the facets of her personality, a being called The Stone Rose. We were inspired by a recent email to us from her partner and best pal Dylan which read in part:

nobody can controllably summon her. She comes when she wants to.

She rallies the party, even when there is no party to rally. 

She dances late into the early morning. 

She wrestles women twice her strength, to a draw! 

She's got that can do anything attitude. 

She's lightning, and thunder in a bottle.

And man, I have a serious crush on her.

The lyrics we wrote (found below) reflect the words Dylan wrote and the feelings both of the members of The Efts have for Deanie. Some of the best times we've had in our lives have been with The Stone Rose. We will love her forever and beyond.

Lyrics:

You cannot beat her up

She already did it for you

With her one black eye

she'll do everything she wanted to.

All she ever wanted to do.

With the party all around her

she's the engine in the center.

She's enveloped in the wonder

of the lightning and the thunder she called

down out of the sky 

and she falls down.

She picks herself up and she dusts herself off

and she picks a fight with someone twice her size

It's alright.

It's alright.

It's alright.

We will help you.

We will hold you.

We will love you.

The Stone Rose.

You're Not Afraid of Color

Dylan in Colors artwork by Shannon

This tune is dedicated to one of our best friends in the whole world: Dylan Assael. We met Dyl in 1991 at art school. Since then he's been an integral part of our lives. Every home and workspace we've had has been decorated with his art. His influence on the way we talk, walk and think is immeasurable and profound. His sense of adventure, his sense of humor, and his sense of style have blended together into a legendary source of inspiration for both members of The Efts.  We hope you enjoy this tribute to his lifelong devotion to the arts and our lives.

Lyrics:

You're not afraid of color.

Yellows and greens.

You blend it with another

You're filling the screen

Now you put the pen on paper.

Not later.

And you draw up a curve.

You swerve.

Now you dig a little deeper,

you creeper.

And you're brushing a nerve.

If I had to pick a brother

you know you're the one.

You are from a different mother.

But our connection

it could not be any stronger

It burns like the sun

and my brain is on fire

You're not afraid of color

Purple and red

Now you're sketching up another.

Your hand from your head.

Now your pencil is a pistol

a missile

And it's shooting me dead,

the lead.

Put your vision to the paper

a sabre

Is stuck in my head

Make your mark upon the printer

you're lifting the ink

Put the compass in the center

you color it pink

Make a caster at the minter

I shudder to think

what you're working on next

You're not afraid of color

Orange and blue

You're not like every other

When you mix up the hues

If I had to pick a brother

you know you're the one.

You are from a different mother.

But our connection

it could not be any stronger

It burns like the sun

and my brain is on fire

You're not afraid of color

and my brain is on fire.

Beat Walker

"Beat Walker" artwork by Wiles, Dylan, and Ashland Assael

Happy Valentine's Day Lolo!  This song is dedicated to you, my partner in life, love and music.  You've become a master at creating sounds with me on our Mac.  As our music is funneled through your ears, it becomes something more than I could ever hope to create by myself.  Without you, The Efts are nothing.  Thanks for being a wonderful and creative force.  You are the Beat Walker, and you bring me to my knees.  I love you Lolo!

Big thanks go out the Assael family for the triptych associated with this song.  It's the kind of art that makes me want to rejoice.  I can't wait to see more artwork from your amazing family.

Lyrics:

I'm a street talker baby

you're a beat walker.

And when I come around

looking down

Calling all around this town.

Heat.

You know what I need baby.

Hammer out the lead.

I gotta find a seat

'cause now you brought the beat baby.

Beat it to my teeth, lady

Feel in in my feet. Maybe

put it all the way down in the ground

deeper than the speaker sounds.

Make me wanna jump around

show me why they say that you're a beat walker

you're not a sweet talker

I can recognize in your eyes

when it's time to synthesize

beats.  

You can call it fate now

I can call it luck how

we can build a house out of

beat bricks, wicked licks

and drummer sticks.

Beat walker bring me to my knees

You know what I need.  Lead

me to sonic seeds. Feed

me the chronic beats. Rocker

down upon the keys, squeeze

on my knees. Don't you be a rhythm tease.

Please.

'Cause you're a beat walker.

Andrew Treat Does Everything Right Redux

Those of us in certain circles have often said Andrew Treat does everything right.  He's a thoughtful friend who is the perfect accomplice for adventures that often share a border with life-altering experiences. This song reflects the 2nd in a series of parties hosted by the incomparable Andrew Treat.  Borrowing heavily from the material from our first song about an AT-related party, we've updated the lyrics to reflect a more recent vice-fueled weekend at his place in Parkersburg.  We also added some stuff like bass drops, bigger drums and deeper synths.  We'd like to thank beta team members Tanner, KY, Amrik and AT for their help.  We'd also like to thank the incredible Jackson Y for the poignant picture drawn for this song.  Seeing Jackson's vision of Andrew Treat in Game of Thrones form is a wonderful companion image for this project.

Lyrics:

I don't remember all of September.  Oh no.

I just remember pieces of this adventure.

It was me and AT

KY and Amrik

and it was scheduled to be

a Game of Thrones viewing

There was a giant TV

A million color 3-D

and it was loud as could be

He had an Acura TL

in which I sat in the back

and as the afternoon gelled

we all listened to rap

And then we made a quick stop

down at the old butcher shop

we got some red bloody chops

and then some red soda pop 

There was Rock Band, GTA

Staying up all night and day

Bourbon and some Powerade

Swervin' at the chopper raid.

And as the day began to fade

my memory began to shade

Games we barely got to play

Drinking till the light of day

We watched an orb weaver

make her man feed her

Covered in gore creature

on his back porch feature

Charlie Is the Foundation

Charlie Day artwork by Jackson Y.

The Efts watch a lot of TV.  Over the last few years, one show has emerged to dominate our television: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  We've become unabashedly enamored with one of the show's characters.  Charlie Kelly (portrayed by the ultra-talented Charlie Day) is a product of a broken home, broken dreams and broken teeth.  His indomitable spirit allows him to maintain a relatively positive attitude regardless of the stressors provided by the world at large.  "Charlie is our foundation!" is an exclamation made by Danny DeVito's Frank in episode 8 of season 9.  We agree.  We felt a need to pay homage to Charlie Kelly in song form.  We hope you enjoy.  

A special thanks goes out to Jackson Y for the superb artwork accompanying this song.  He continues to provide an integral facet of our overall musical product through his work as West Virginia's youngest professional artist.  We would also like to thank beta team member Tanner Haid for his musical and editing guidance.

Lyrics:

Boil denim that he found down under the bridge

With an eye to the side for the waitress

He will smash all the rats with his bashin' stick

and he might spend a night in the crevice.

With a soft spot copped for the man in green

he will pop tops off of the bottled drink

He's a friend to the end of the final scene

Charlie is the foundation

with the whole world on his back.

With the law of the bird he recalls what he heard

and he tosses the word 'filibuster'

Scrapping for every single thing that he owns

He atones.

Breathing fumes in the rooms of his empty bar

with his tools and the ghouls, doesn't need a car.

He's content that he went never nowhere far

Nowhere far.

What You Mean To Me

Several times I've tried to write a song about what Lolo means to me.  It's difficult because she means everything to me, something too huge and profound to jam into a ditty.  This song reflects the millionth attempt of trying to tell Lolo that while she's one of the most self-sufficient people on the planet, I love that we've become partners.  This is also my birthday present to her this year.  I love you Lolo!!

Lyrics:

It's what you mean to me.

Under these trees

you're a skeleton key.

I tried to say it better

I tried to write a letter

I didn't know the words.

What you mean to me

you're the air that I breathe

the water I bleed

You can carry me

under your wing

But you set me to fly

by your side

What you mean to me

under these trees

going to be

feeling free

Waiting Room

Pope & Brace's poster for the 1988 Fugazi show in Morgantown, West Virginia

Fugazi.  They've been one of the most important bands in our lives.  Not only have we listened to their tapes (and cds and records) for more than 2 decades, they also provided the first really good show we ever saw live.  Fugazi was fronted by Ian MacKaye, possibly the most iconic figure in punk music from our geographical area.  His music, lifestyle, and presence all have a place in our hearts.  We knew we had to cover at least one of their tunes in our upcoming covers album.  After trying to work up a cover of Margin Walker and Give Me the Cure we ended up lovingly recreating Waiting Room instead.  All of the aforementioned songs are featured on Fugazi's amazing album called 13 Songs.  Comprised of the band's first two EPs, its the album we would choose if we could only listen to one album for the rest of our lives.  Even after many hundreds of listens, 13 Songs remains solidly at #1 of our list of all-time best records in history.  Our enduring thanks go out to all of Fugazi's members for their talent and dedication to the scene.  Their music will remain a primary facet of our lives until we die.

Lyrics:

I am a patient boy
I wait, I wait, I wait, I wait
My time is water down a drain

Everybody's moving
Everybody's moving
Everything is moving,
Moving, moving, moving

Please don't leave me to remain
In the waiting room

I don't want the news
(I cannot use it)
I don't want the news
(I won't live by it)

Sitting outside of town
Everybody's always down
(Tell me why)

Because they can't get up
(Ahhh... Come on and get up)
(Come on and get up)

But I won't sit idly by
I'm planning a big surprise
I'm gonna fight
For what I want to be

And I won't make the same mistakes
(Because I know)
Because I know how much time that wastes
(And function)
Function is the key
Inside the waiting room

I don't want the news
(I cannot use it)
I don't want the news
(I won't live by it)

Sitting outside of town
Everybody's always down
(Tell me why)

Because they can't get up
(Ahhh... Come on and get up)
Up from the waiting room

Sitting in the waiting room
(Ahhh...)
Sitting in the waiting room
(Ahhh...)
Sitting in the waiting room
(Ahhh...)
Sitting in the waiting room
(Ahhh...)

(Tell me why)
Because they can't get up

New Slang

Released in 2001 by The Shins, New Slang is one of our top ten favorite songs of all time.  James Mercer wrote the lyrics in an effort to describe his urge to get out of his hometown, job, relationship and life.  The words are presented in a manner that encourages the listener to envelope this sense of angst of one's surroundings.  The melody is timeless.  A song for eternity, this musical gift from The Shins will follow us around forever.

New Slang by The Shins has a rather sordid history with The Efts.
Shannon of The Efts was listening to the original Shins version when he flipped
his pickup truck into an icy creek several winters ago.  As the cab of
the truck filled with slushy ice-cold water, he frantically tried to
get the truck started so he could escape through the power windows.
With a final focused attempt to start the vehicle, the windows opened
and The Shins poignantly reminded him that he could dance like the
king of the eyesores and the rest of our lives would a' fared well.

Lyrics:


Gold teeth and a curse for this town were all in my mouth.
Only, i don't know how they got out, dear.
Turn me back into the pet that i was when we met.
I was happier then with no mind-set.

And if you'd 'a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, I'd 'a jumped from my tree
And I'd a danced like the king of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.

New slang when you notice the stripes, the dirt in your fries.
Hope it's right when you die, old and bony.
Dawn breaks like a bull through the hall,
Never should have called
But my head's to the wall and I'm lonely.

And if you'd 'a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, I'd 'a jumped from my tree
And I'd a danced like the kind of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.

God speed all the bakers at dawn may they all cut their thumbs,
And bleed into their buns 'till they melt away.

I'm looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find.
Without a trust or flaming fields am i too dumb to refine?
And if you'd 'a took to me like
Well I'd a danced like the queen of the eyesores

Strangers

Akai LPK 25 keyboard, Samson Meteor mic, MacBook Pro w/ Logic Pro, random headphones all used in this song

Written by lead guitarist/vocalist Dave Davies for his band The Kinks, Strangers has been a staple of the soundtrack to our lives for years.  This song first appeared in 1970 on The Kinks' album Lola Versus Powerman and the Moneygoround, part one.  The lyrics have found a place in many aspects of our lives.  It fits when we play mmorpgs, it fits at work, and it fits within our personal lives.  Some songs have a singular message, but this one seems to encompass a wide spectrum of messages.  We had fun recreating this tune in our own nerdy style, and our thanks go out to the extremely talented Mr Davies for his songwriting expertise.

Lyrics:

Where are you going I don't mind
I've killed my world and I've killed my time
So where do I go what do I see
I see many people coming after me
So where are you going to I don't mind
If I live too long I'm afraid I'll die
So I will follow you wherever you go
If your offered hand is still open to me
Strangers on this road we are on
We are not two we are one
So you've been where I've just come
From the land that brings losers on
So we will share this road we walk
And mind our mouths and beware our talk
'Till peace we find tell you what I'll do
All the things I own I will share with you
If I feel tomorrow like I feel today
We'll take what we want and give the rest away
Strangers on this road we are on
We are not two we are one
Holy man and holy priest
This love of life makes me weak at my knees
And when we get there make your play
'Cos soon I feel you're gonna carry us away
In a promised lie you made us believe
For many men there is so much grief
And my mind is proud but it aches with rage
And if I live too long I'm afraid I'll die
Strangers on this road we are on
We are not two we are one
Strangers on this road we are on
We are not two we are one

The Most Popular Girls on The Internet Song

The Efts love The Most Popular Girls on the Internet

They've made us laugh for hours.  They've informed us of the various facets of their lives which have oddly paralleled our own.  They are wickedly smart and nerdily fascinating.  They are The Most Popular Girls on the Internet.  Each week we welcome our favorite podcast hosts Tara and Cassandra into our home via our interlines.  Catching up with TMPGOTI has become such an important part of our lives that we wanted to thank them via this gift-song.  We are literally begging anyone reading this to check out their site and become addicted to their ways.  The Most Popular Girls on the Internet: brightening the lives of the geek community for almost 200 episodes.

Lyrics:

Every time they put their voices on the microphone

they send it to the speakers found within my car and home

They don't need a Y to go with their X chromosomes

They are the most, the most popular.

Every week I get some weekly geeky stereo love

As a geek I need to know about all this stuff

Once a week is never ever really enough

of girls on the internet.

They are the most popular

They are the most popular

They are the most popular

girls on the internet

They may talk about the news from in Ice Station C

They may chat about the games that they have played lately

They may drink and shout about something that's on TV

They are the most, the most popular.

Ascended Heroes Theme

We know we are heroes because it says so right next to our names.

We've been in many guilds over the last 20 years or so of playing MMOs.  From our first non-official guild way back during the days of text-based MUDs to our current Guild Wars 2 infatuation, we've been surrounding ourselves with groups of players.  Ascended Heroes [Hero] on the Northern Shiverpeaks server of the Guild Wars 2 metasphere is a particularly good guild.  Rich in empathy, acceptance and talent, Ascended Heroes provides a home for casual and hardcore players alike.  This song is in support of this wonderful group of people.  May we escort Plinx a million more times!

Lyrics:

I want to be a hero

but I just can't do it by myself.

I've got nothing to fear though,

when I'm out there fighting with my friends.

I know I am a hero

because it says so right next to my name.

I'm counted as a hero

when I'm with my guild playing this game.

A round of drinks 

while we help Plinx

make his way home

from west to east.

Fractals and dungeons

make us strong

while we hunt dragons

all day long.

We can beat AC in our sleep

and we can capture any keep.

We all play seven days a week

right here on Northern Shiverpeaks.

The Efts on Indie69's Best of 2012 playlist!

Download the huge playlist here --> Indie69 Indie Music and Culture

New music can sometimes be difficult to find.  There's no shortage of it, but figuring out which new music to try can be a painstaking process.  Indie69 to the rescue!  Month in, month out, Indie discovers cool new music and lovingly wraps it up in a zipped archive.  Said archive is then seeded out in a torrent for your listening pleasure.  He's got an uncanny knack for finding hidden sonic gems, and we're delighted to have been included in his Best of 2012 superplaylist.  109 songs are jammed into the list, which hopefully will solve your I-don't-have-any-new-music blues.  Please check out his playlists and support him.  He's a powerful presence in the musicsphere in which we live.

Disenchanted

Throughout life we become enamored to certain ideals, places and people.  Eventually the spell becomes less powerful and we become disillusioned to those things we once held dear.  This song is about that facet of human existence.  We hope this tune provides support to those of you who find yourselves paddling in your disenchanted lifeboats, dodging waves of frustration.  A big thanks goes out to The Efts Beta Listening Team member Tanner Haid for his lyrical expertise.  After listening to an earlier version of this song, he provided some extra words which we added to the final 2 stanzas.

Lyrics:

With the scales that fall from your eyes

you can see the space between lies

Like a hero that will fall to his knees and then dies

You are disenchanted.

You can try to plea for your lives,

humanize and fake empathize 

but your slumping shoulders will not rise

You are disenchanted.

Am I losing luster?

Should I be a truster?

I don't want to know.

You could hear my whispers and cries

I've been advised of my demise

I can see right through your disguise.

I am disenchanted.

You are losing luster.

You should have been a truster.

You are disenchanted.

I am disenchanted.

Chris A Ivey

Chris A Ivey

This song is dedicated to a powerful and magnetic WvW (world vs world) player on Ferguson's Crossing, our Guild Wars 2 server.  Chris A Ivey has an incredible talent for siege tactics, player control, and is a natural leader in our crusade against our server's enemies.  This is underscored by the fact that his character is a diminutive pink-clad sword-wielding Asura.  Prior to his appearance, we tended to wander aimlessly around the huge WvW maps without focus.  Now that Chris is an integral part of the Ferguson's Crossing war machine, we've managed to overcome the fact that we're vastly outnumbered by our opposing factions.  Join us in GW2 and bear witness to the Chris A Ivey effect.  He will lead you home.

Lyrics:

We were lost within a wilderness,

our backs against a wall.

Our wounded limped among

defeated moans.

We heard his battlecry rise up

inside our sore beleaguered line

Chris A Ivey had arrived

to lead us home.

We will follow him straight down to hell.

No problem.

We will return soon with tales to tell

about him.

Let's go, we gotta build this treb for him.

Come on, supply up.

Chris A Ivey

gonna guide me.

Brandon's Theme

Brandon's Theme artwork by Jackson

This song is dedicated to my excellent co-worker and good pal Brandon Judy.  He's a selfless worker who has the amazing ability to easily maintain a complex network of computers spread out across five large rural counties.  Brandon's also a really good guy, deserving of a theme song for trips out to fix various IT related concerns.  Thanks for the awesome support Brandon, we hope you enjoy this one!

The artwork associated with this post is an original by Jackson.  Thanks for another fantastic picture Jack!  Your talent continues to astound me.

Lyrics:

I've got your password.

I've got your user ID.

I know your itinerary.

I've got you.

I see your data.

It travels up through my veins

and settles deep in my brains.

I've thought you.

Guess I better ride out to the job.

These people don't know what I have to do.

Nobody else can do this good of a job

I've got this place running smooth.

I know their secret thoughts

thanks to my seeker bots.

and now their hidden spots

are on display.

They need a password.

They need a user ID.

They need their itinerary.

They need me.